Photo by Johannes Plenio
How do we watch ourselves disappear? How do we be there for others during their disappearing? I started out this go around of my journey here knowing myself, wholly. There was no one to become. My guess is that you did too. But that’s not how this whole game works.
It’s pretty hard to run from a fire if you have no idea that there’s someone to burn.
Slowly and gently, or not so gently depending on the script, we become somebody. If we’re “lucky” we become somebody special.
There are lots of somebody rules.
Don’t show weakness. Be vulnerable.
Get as much as you can. Be grateful for what you have.
And we forget.
Maybe you’re sitting at the edge of the river or smelling the first crocus poking up through the thin blanket of spring snow still dusting the garden. And there you are. You’re not thinking about the electric bill or the price of gas. There’s just flowers.
We disappear in a thousand ways. From our families, our loves, the people next door. Some of us never come back. For those of us lucky enough to reappear, sometimes we come back broken and battered and don’t know where we’ve been. Parts of us always remember who we were though, and that there’s no going back from that remembering.
There’ve always been people to carry me ‘til I was strong enough to climb. They were able to see the peace in me that was nothing more than an idea.
I’ve watched people fight their way through a door so small that they’re almost not there at all. The weight of lifting their head to be seen by someone else, just too much. Slowly, with love and acceptance, the light starts to reappear in their eyes. They come to a meeting to talk about their best friend dying, and a week later, they die too.
A face comes on my screen wholly consumed by the emptiness of what’s supposed to be love, coming from their partner. They battle them like an addiction, leave and return and leave and return. Finally, they find the strength to choose themself. They start eating or stop eating. They put the mirror back up in the bathroom and start listening to the music that they’ve missed. Sometimes this is the start of a new chapter and sometimes it’s just a short break from going back to the old one.
The work is standing in the middle with an open heart. If somebody wants to climb, give them your hand or your shoulder. If they need to fall, sit with them if they’ll let you. Be a human letting them be human. There’s a weight to watching, to being a witness. It’s one of the quickest ways to start remembering.
The music in this song drives, like there’s just not enough time to get wherever there is. The words are about holding and seeing. They feel like different songs, but maybe carrying someone can be gentle and relentless. You don’t put them down just because you’re tired.
Climb
I can see you I can see you on the road ahead
Disappearing Reappearing like a long-lost friend
You’ll remember you’ll remember when you knew yourself
I see peace there I see peace there and I’ll carry you ‘til you’re strong enough to climb
Broken promise Broken promise like an angry storm
Run for cover into someone else’s waiting arms
You’ll remember you’ll remember when you knew yourself
I see peace there I see peace there and I’ll carry you ‘til you’re strong enough to find me again
I remember I remember when our love was right
I’m with you there round the corner of our former life
Looking up now new horizon shines on golden stairs
I see peace there I see peace there and I’ll carry you
I’ll carry you ‘til you’re strong enough to climb
Words and Music: Peter Learn, Andre Forget
Organ: Peter
Guitar and vocals: Andre
Bass guitar: Phil Albert
Drums: Michael Brushey
Reading this Peter I was thinking of war. Picking your comrade up and carrying them over their shoulder wounded and battered.
That's what it can feel like at times when you're truly thrown around by life and to be picked up and carried in your most vulnerable time is something you'll remember and respect about that person for these rest of your life.
When you can finally walk with your own legs and return to either your former or readjusted self is the most beautiful thing you can do for another human being.
Love this ❤️
This is beautiful. 🤍The idea that we slowly disappear without even noticing, and that sometimes another person can hold hope for us until we're ready to hold it ourselves, really touched me. "I'll carry you 'til you're strong enough to climb" is such a powerful image. Thank you for sharing something so gentle and deeply human.